How to Grow Old Gracefully

Some say that aging is a natural process. A part of the cycle of life. They celebrate aging as a counter move to age-ism and cite examples set by wealthy stars and former models who have grown older “gracefully” (i.e., they still look beautiful and well preserved). What utter rubbish! These propagandists neglect to mention anything about genes, plastic surgery or costly dermatological treatments, soft lighting, and air brushing. In reality, we get wrinkles, age spots, sagging skin, puffy eyes, etc., etc. Historians worry about the fall of man but what about the fall of woman?!? No, growing old is a very un-natural process that leads to one eventuality—death.

Anyone who puts faith in the truthfulness of God’s Word as recorded in the Bible knows that humans were meant to live forever. We were never meant to die nor meant to grow old. Aging, sickness, and death are by-products of the disobedience that began in the Garden of Eden and have been passed down from generation to generation like hair or eye color. The account of man’s descent from perfection has been carried down too, albeit with variation, in the teachings of Christian and non-Christian religions alike, therefore what I am saying should not be shocking to anyone regardless of religious persuasion. So, with the un-naturalness of aging established, is it actually possible to grow old gracefully?
 

The first thing I wanted to do is make sure I understood the full meaning of the word “graceful”. Seems elementary I know but there are lots of words whose meaning we take for granted when, upon closer inspection, we can obtain a much richer understanding. So, I decided to investigate. The ever handy Dictionary.com defines the word “graceful” as “characterized by elegance or beauty of form, manner, movement or speech; elegant”. Taking it a step further, I also typed the word “gracefully” in a Microsoft Word document and did a synonym search. Said search yielded results such as:  

Kindly, Charitably, Benevolently, Elegantly, With Poise, Charmingly, and Stylishly 

These words sum up quite nicely how anyone can grow old gracefully. Simply put, be all of those things. Stylish and elegant in our dress; poised in our carriage; kind and charming in our demeanor; and benevolent and charitable in our thoughts and actions. No doubt we each have examples of ones in our lives who exemplify these very characteristics. Follow their example and, to slightly paraphrase Dylan Thomas, “Rage against the dying of the light”…gracefully.

The Power of Words

I embrace me as I do my writings, reserved and unsure.
Though oft times the amateur, easily read and dull,
there is a spirit to us both and raw truth aching to be understood.


Ashamed of who I am in these unstudied moments,
ashamed I tend to be of all I write.
But this is me in these emotional, unpolished expressions.
This is me when the mask drops and I am acutely aware of my short comings,
my hopes, my fears, my loneliness.


Written words hold the power to express a side of me I’ve hidden so long
that no one knows it’s there.
A side I forget about too until my secret self is revealed and I live,
if only in written words.
 

© Cindy Chance (Written 8/7/06 & Revised 12/17/09)

Myrtle Beach, SC - November 2011

Myrtle Beach, SC, as most people know, is a great tourist and golfer destination. Our family went there a few weeks ago for vacation. November may seem an unusual time to go to the beach but actually the weather is still nice, hotel rates are slashed, and it's not crowded. Everything I love about a vacation! Here are some pictures I took. Hope you enjoy! 

  

Southern Fried Manners

So, why is my blog called "Southern Fried and Tied Up?" Let me explain.  Despite the fact that I, like most people, prefer to do things when I want to and on my own terms, I really am all for norms and rules. They help to establish order and calm in a chaotic world. They give people with undiagnosed ADD a framework within which to bounce around. The problem comes with knowing how to balance between extremes. This is perhaps truest within the Southern culture.


You see, in the South, people run the gamut between extremes. You have your wide-open, wide-mouthed, yee-hawing, good-ole-country boy on one end of the spectrum, and your prim and proper, oh-so-refined, Southern belle or grand dame on the other end. What is considered polite conversation within the spectrum varies just as widely. Some swear like sailors while others speak with such gentility that it's as if they curtsy with their words.  Case in point, I was talking with a friend who brought up the “F-“ word. You know (looking from side to side and whispering)…”Fart”. My mother can’t stand that word. As she says, it is crude slang and other words can equally, and less offensively, be used. One could say, for example, poot or toot or pass gas.


Anyway, I remarked to my friend that sometimes I feel southern fried and tied up because of societal conventions such as those governing the use of words like “fart”. I quite liked my original expression—"southern fried and tied up"—because it is metaphorical of a larger pull and tug between being who you are versus who you are supposed to be, as dictated by society at large. It’s like the strain to breach the confines of a perfectly constructed cocoon that is all at once overwhelming, suffocating, and constricting while it is also warm, safe, comforting, and known. How does one navigate such a narrow passage and still feel unique?


As always, it comes down to balance. Balance between personal needs and the needs of others. Turns out it’s really not all about you or me and what either of us want. There is a bigger picture and still others to be considered. Here is where manners come into play. Manners have nothing to do with the individual who displays them but have everything to do with the recipient. Manners say “I respect you and your feelings”. The world certainly could use more of that.


Truth be told, I do let the “F-“ word, I mean “fart”, fly (no pun intended) every now and again but I also feel my Mom has a point. There is something safe and comforting in convention, in politeness, in gentility. Something that says the world hasn’t totally lost all redeeming value. Something that speaks of our better natures and our ultimate potential as a species. So, Mama, in harmony with Colossians 4:6, I will try to season my words with salt, making them palatable to those along the spectrum of society knowing that it can only contribute to the betterment of all.

Introducing Me

Welcome! This is my new blog called "Southern Fried and Tied Up". Here I will blog about my life and will include essays about a variety of subjects, photos I've taken, poetry (that rarely rhymes), fictional prose I've written, and anything else I want to share. My next blog post entitled "Southern Fried Manners" explains how I got the name for my blog.


So, who am I exactly? Well, I am the mother of two great kids and live with a wonderful Shih-Tzu named Kenzie, two leopard geckos named Treelo and Charmander, and a beta fish named Shadow (a.k.a., Herman). The rest I guess you'll learn as we go along.


Always remember that I appreciate comments and love followers!! Oh, and don't forget to follow my other blog at http://www.explorevirginia.blogspot.com/ about great things to see, do and eat in Virginia. I hope you enjoy my blogs and come back often!


Cindy